Everything Southern & So Cotton Pickin Cute

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Update on MIL

Dear Friends,  I want to thank you all for sending up prayers last night when I posted.  It meant so much and I truly felt the peace of your prayers with us.

Quick update.  It's almost 3am and I've just come home to get some rest.  I hated leaving Neil and my mother-in-law in the emergency room but they do have her stable.  They won't be getting her into a hospital room until tomorrow morning when one's available.  I know!  It's been very scary so far.  For days we've had to force her to drink a drop of boost or eat a bite of cereal.  She just kept getting weaker and weaker.  Last week she was very difficult and stubborn the more we asked her to eat or do anything the more she wouldn't.  At one moment I would be scared to death something was really wrong and then when we would leave the room I could see her eating or whatever.  She would be barely audible to Neil but when he was out of the room she could just tell me what for all over the place, so  then I would think she's just being stubborn and doing Neil the way she does with him.  I mean she told him she'd never come back here and even much worse last week.  When Neil was out of the room she got her voice back enough to tell me she hated me from the first day she laid eyes on me and still hates me.  That the Alzheimer's because I really do know that wasn't true.  Then she started not making sense worse than usual.  We threaten hospital visits anything to get her to eat.  Neil told her, he could see her going to the hospital in a day or two.  It's been very stressful and difficult on him.  He told her he loved her and was trying to take care of her and she said she'd rather live anywhere but our house and she'd never see us again.

We barely got her to the car today, thinking a drive might boost her spirits and keep her awake.  She can't keep her eyes open. No kidding this has been so scary.  When we got home Neil tried to help her out of the car and she couldn't stand on her own and just fell against him.  We were able to get her back in the car and head to the ER.

The Dr. first said she had a serious urinary infection and was dehydrated.  Then they came back and said her kidneys were not functioning like they should be.  She also has a possible blood clot in one foot.  Her foot is ice cold and white.  They couldn't even find a pulse with the sonar or whatever it was.  And she's on heavy antibiotics and seeing a podiatrist for this same foot and a problem.  She saw him last Thurs. and has another appt. for this Thurs.

The one Dr. put his hand on Neil and said I'm sorry you have a lot to deal with coming up.  He also told us his MIL was in hospice and had maybe 48 or so more hours.  (Please say a pray for the Drs. family - I'm sorry but I'm so tired I can't even remember his name).  Needless to say Neil is beyond upset and crying.  His mother doesn't even know where she is.  Finally they gave her some pain meds.  Bless her heart she would just about cry in pain and you said what's hurting and she say nothing.  I don't feel pain.  That's the problem with Alzheimer's, they literally can't tell you if they are hurting and if they can they can't point it out.

After Neil calmed down and she had gotten her pain meds we were rubbing her and trying to comfort her and she finally started saying lots of funny things, telling old stories, not making any sense and being as sweet as taffy..  We had some good laughs and some wonderful moments.  I could tell be for I left that was quickly passing but as long as Neil stayed with her she very sweetly told me bye and she loved me and to be careful.  You should have seen her face when I said I was leaving before I told her Neil was staying.  (Little angry attitude coming).

Before I left the 2nd Dr told us that she would be staying in the hospital for several days at least.  I know they are not going to want us to bring her back home but Neil's not really to face that.  Oh' how my heart breaks for him.  But the Dr. did say that he hoped the levels in the kidneys would come up once she was hydrated and treated and hopefully be functioning much better.  He sounded very positive, which relieved Neil so much.  You could just see it in his face.  I'm still very worried.  Bless her heart she's so tired and is 90 years old and he just doesn't seem to be able to accept any of that.  Good Lord, I'm sure I would not want to face it if it were my mother.

Sorry about writing more than you probably wanted to hear but I just don't know when to stop.

Please continue to pray for Neil and his Mother.  And pray that God shows me how to handle the situation and the correct words to comfort them both.

I posted the first prayer request from the hospital and I couldn't believe how quickly you all came to my rescue.  Your words truly did make a difference for both Neil and me.  We felt so comforted knowing you were praying for us.  And I had a very unusual calmness, that could only be due to your prayers at work and the Lord comforting and holding us.

I'll keep you updated as soon as I can.
Goodnight to all of you with a grateful heart and much love.....Tracy

P.S.  Too tired to edit.  I hope you can make sense of this and look over any silly mistakes.


  1. your family is going thru an extremely difficult time that I can completely understand. lots of love to you guys.

  2. Of course we will overlook any mistakes..we all make them!! lol
    A big prayer is going out for you and for Neil and for your MIL. May God keep you in His arms of strength. You take care of yourself also!!

    Hugs Cindy from Rick-Rack and Gingham

  3. Will keep your mil in our prayers. We've had a rough summer since dh's stroke in June, but he is healing..

  4. Still sending my thoughts, wish I could really send hugs...sounds like both you and your Hubby could use them. My Hubby was with his mom every step of the way through her cancer hospice and I know what a toll it took on him. Just remeber to take care of yourself and try and get your hubby to do the same....as always sending hugs!

  5. continuing to hold you all in my prayers dear one.

  6. Tracy,
    I pray for continued peace and strength for your family. I pray Neil will be able to hear the Lord's voice, to be comforted and guided, to not be racked by guilt (which is NOT from God) and to be able to hear the Voice of truth and love.
    It is obvious he loves his mother and it is such a difficult situation. I pray for God's peace which transcends all understanding to envelope him so that he can do what the Lord knows is best.
    Bless you both with heaps of good things of God for taking on such a task and loving your MIL throguh this time!
    With love and a big HUG,

  7. Lifting up prayers for all of you.

    May Jesus hold you, Neil and your MIL in His loving arms and comfort you during this time

  8. Tracy,
    This is such a tought time for all of you!!!!! And no answers are shouting out to you, I am sure...I am so sorry about all of this!

  9. My Thoughts & Prayers are with You, Neil & His Mom... I know you are all facing such a difficult situation & Decisions, Keep us posted whenever you can & Please Tracy, Take Care & Let God!

  10. I know it is difficult to watch your parents when they are failing. it's hard to realize that they can get better care, the care they need in a hospital or hospice because of course we want them with us. I hope your husband will realize that his mother is better off in the care of professionals and where she can get immediate help when she needs it. Keeping you all in our prayers.

  11. I've never met you personally, but have been following your posts & wanted you to know that others care. I may not be clear on exactly what it is you need in this situation, but our God does, and He will give you whatever it takes to get through it. No one knows why good people are allowed to suffer, but the hope and peace of others' prayers will sustain you as we lift you up to His perfect care. There is a master plan in all of this mess, and you are a big part of it. Someday, you'll know why.

    Thinking of you and praying for you and your family. God bless you.


  12. Tracy, I am so sorry that once again you are going through such tough times so close to your own scare. Bless your heart, I'm glad you came home to give yourself a chance to rest and have a moments peace. Will keep all of your in my prayers, hugs, Nan