Everything Southern & So Cotton Pickin Cute

Friday, January 28, 2011

A Beautiful Gift

First,  I'd like to say thank you to all of you that have been praying for us.  We have felt it and it's such a huge comfort.  You're words brightened my day and brought me so much peace.  Love is such a powerful thing.  I love you all!

Don't you just love my new journal?  I'm ashamed that I haven't given y'all a peek sooner.  The sweetest friend Marie from Spun By Me surprised me with it for the New Year.  I just love the beautiful image on the front of the 2 birds lovingly caring for each other and the words "Home Sweet Home".  She also added the definitions for the words Journey, Imagination and dream.  I just love that.  I was so surprised and so touched to know that she took the time to create something for me.  It was perfect timing.  I decided it would be my Gratitude Journal for 2011.

Many of you already know the battle I have with depression.  The swings are the worst.  Months go by that your life seems just fine.  Like everyone else, some days are better than others but that's life, right?  But then when the roller coaster changes and the darkness comes it's such agony.  2010 was not a year that I was sad to see go.  There were many trials and lots of tears.  The biggest blessing from 2010 I can honestly say was the friendships I developed through blogging.  Sometimes that was the only thing that got me through.  And then of course there was the nasty economy, which I don't believe spared anyone from it wrath.  But I still had a home and food and so many suffered worse fates.

The end of the year found me looking forward to 2011 with a renewed sense of HOPE.  With the PRAYERS of  my FRIENDS here, my home saw changes.  The stress in my life was reduced greatly.  Yep, HOPE was the word I found myself thinking of just when I was ready to give in and give up.  

So as 2011 started I chose the word BALANCE to focus on.  You see 2010 was very out of BALANCEBALANCE was something that I needed to find, to keep my eye on, so to say.  When Marie sent me the notebook, I thought what could be more perfect?  A place to write down at least 3 things I'm grateful for every day.  Sometimes things have a purpose that we don't first see.  I'm almost certain Marie couldn't have know just how much her gift to me would mean.  How loved and cared about it would make me feel.  I think GOD had a reason in mind.  It's become more than just a Gratitude Journal,  it's also a Prayer Journal.  

Neil and I are facing a lot with his Mother and we will be struggling  to keep BALANCE while we face her battles with her.  The Dr. said that they may amputate her foot as early as today (it's 3:38 am) or possibly wait until Monday.  She isn't aware of anything.  She never asks why she's there or what's going on.  Tonight I thought we were watching her die.  She became choked in her sleep and we sat her up.  She couldn't get her breath.  She started trying to throw up while she couldn't breath she was terrified and so were we.  I went screaming down the hall for help.  I seriously thought, I don't want Neil to see her die like this.  This can't be his last memory.  I pray for GOD'S will to be done, I pray that she passes gently in her sleep.  I thank GOD that he decides all and we don't have to make that kind of decision.

Thank you Marie for such a beautiful gift that has meant more than you could have ever known it would.  Like I said GOD knows what we don't know yet and GOD prepares a way for us.  

Marie your Journal was the result of JESUS calling on one of his earthly Angels to prepare comfort for someone in need.  Thank you for hearing that call and being that ANGEL on earth for me!

I hope y'all have a wonderful weekend.  Hugs...Tracy :)


  1. Awww..Honey..I am praying that God will allow Nadine the peace that her body is crying out for.It will be hard..wether you see her take her last breath peacefully...or wether it is a fight to the finish...the death of a loved one is never easy!!!
    When I was sooo close to death (which I have NO recollection of) I was screaming...moaning..thrashing..and made such horrible breathing sounds...I remember nothing of this!!! Praise God!My 5 days of living in a death grip..were like minutes to me. I tell you this so you know...she really isn't mentally feeling what whe sounds like!!
    I only know all this from my family members who were there and told me and my daughter even showed me.I was shocked I knew nothing..or had no memory of it.
    All I remember was the music..We are standing on Holy Ground...which later I found out was not by anyone in the hospital or my family..it was truly Gods music I had been hearing...and I tell you this..it is AWESOME!!!It is really ..really peaceful and comforting!
    I tell you this for you to have comfort for her..and what she is going thru.And to remember He will not take you thru anything you truly can't handle!!!!
    Know we all love you and are praying for all 3 of you!!
    Hugs and lovin...Cindy from Rick-Rack and Gingham

  2. Bless your heart, Tracy, I am praying for you and your family and the road ahead of you. God is so good-- "three things" is an important theme in my life and my family. You'll always find there's so many more than three. Courage, my friend. :)

  3. hey Tracy! could you email your address to me?
    thanks sweet pea!

  4. Tracy it truly blesses me to know that this small gift ministered to you in such a special way. Your kind words have blessed me in return! Enjoy the notebook ~ it was my privilege to be "an angel" to you!
    I'll be praying for you and your family. Hugs to you!!

  5. Still praying and so thankful for God's grace and strength for you and your family!

    Love and prayers!

  6. Tracy,
    Isn't God wonderful how he takes care of us? I know all about the depression and fighting it, if it weren't for meds, I really don't know if I would be here. I have been on them for 25 years now and thank God everyday for the men who designed the one I take.
    I am also hoping she passes quietly in her sleep and when she wakes up she is looking into the face of our Lord......PLEASE taske care of yourself, we are no good if we are broken also.....Big HUG here! Sandy

  7. I am so sorry for the anguish and fear that you are feeling Tracy. It is never, ever easy to watch a loved one near the end of their life. I hope that you and your husband will be able to keep in your minds the joy that your mother-in-law will be feeling when she passes into the arms of her Lord. Peace be with you all.

  8. Hi! Thanks for the prayers, we sure need them! I will also be keeping your family in my prayers as well. 2010 was not a good year for me either and was so glad to see it go. God does have a pan and we just have to keep our faith in Him during the toughest times, though it is hard to do. I battle with depression as well. Will keep checking on your updates. Glad I found your blog!


  9. Feeling God's love for you at this very moment. He is encircling you, washing over you with grace, love and JOY!
    Peace, be still. Accept it. Allow it to wash over you.
    No guilt. No fear. Just the eternal, unexplicable peace and joy of the Holy Spirit who loves you AND your family perfectly!

    Oh Tracy, I wish I was there to give you a physical hug, but I know that as the Lord does, He'll put mine in there too!

    Blessings ON you sweet, beautiful daughter of the Most High King!

    With a heart full of His love,

  10. You, your husband and Nadine have been on my mind...thoughts and prayers still. I had a couple weeks there I couldn't even bring myself to get on the computer..but you would flit through my mind. I pray God gives her the peace she deserves.
    Thank you for all the loving words you wrote me.
    They are much appreciated.
    Sending strength for you all. xoxoxox

  11. Hi Tracy,
    First off, thank you for your visit to my blog and your lovely comment.
    I wanted to answer your question about Ragdolls but got to tell you about your journal first.
    It is gorgeous and it would be so nice for you to put down your feelings in word, it is a great relief!
    The Ragdoll breed of cat is truly amazing, they got their name from the cloth dolls because of their layed-back attitude and their defence is to flop!
    All my three babies have their own personality, but the one thing they have in common is their effection to our whole family [age range 10 - 45] I can't recommend this breed highly enough and if you do decide to go for it, please let me know.
    Big hugs, Marlene x

  12. Hi Tracy :)
    Thanks for your visit to my blog and your sweet comments. I look forward to getting to know you better! Your blog is very encouraging and colorful ~ and what a blessing it is! Also, I wanted to let you know I am praying for you. May God continue to lift the clouds of depression, fill your days with sunshine, hope, & joy, and surround you with voices of Truth and love. You are not alone.
    Have a blessed week!
    Cindy :)