A Beautiful Gift

First,  I'd like to say thank you to all of you that have been praying for us.  We have felt it and it's such a huge comfort.  You're words brightened my day and brought me so much peace.  Love is such a powerful thing.  I love you all!

Don't you just love my new journal?  I'm ashamed that I haven't given y'all a peek sooner.  The sweetest friend Marie from Spun By Me surprised me with it for the New Year.  I just love the beautiful image on the front of the 2 birds lovingly caring for each other and the words "Home Sweet Home".  She also added the definitions for the words Journey, Imagination and dream.  I just love that.  I was so surprised and so touched to know that she took the time to create something for me.  It was perfect timing.  I decided it would be my Gratitude Journal for 2011.

Many of you already know the battle I have with depression.  The swings are the worst.  Months go by that your life seems just fine.  Like everyone else, some days are better than others but that's life, right?  But then when the roller coaster changes and the darkness comes it's such agony.  2010 was not a year that I was sad to see go.  There were many trials and lots of tears.  The biggest blessing from 2010 I can honestly say was the friendships I developed through blogging.  Sometimes that was the only thing that got me through.  And then of course there was the nasty economy, which I don't believe spared anyone from it wrath.  But I still had a home and food and so many suffered worse fates.

The end of the year found me looking forward to 2011 with a renewed sense of HOPE.  With the PRAYERS of  my FRIENDS here, my home saw changes.  The stress in my life was reduced greatly.  Yep, HOPE was the word I found myself thinking of just when I was ready to give in and give up.  

So as 2011 started I chose the word BALANCE to focus on.  You see 2010 was very out of BALANCE.  BALANCE was something that I needed to find, to keep my eye on, so to say.  When Marie sent me the notebook, I thought what could be more perfect?  A place to write down at least 3 things I'm grateful for every day.  Sometimes things have a purpose that we don't first see.  I'm almost certain Marie couldn't have know just how much her gift to me would mean.  How loved and cared about it would make me feel.  I think GOD had a reason in mind.  It's become more than just a Gratitude Journal,  it's also a Prayer Journal.  

Neil and I are facing a lot with his Mother and we will be struggling  to keep BALANCE while we face her battles with her.  The Dr. said that they may amputate her foot as early as today (it's 3:38 am) or possibly wait until Monday.  She isn't aware of anything.  She never asks why she's there or what's going on.  Tonight I thought we were watching her die.  She became choked in her sleep and we sat her up.  She couldn't get her breath.  She started trying to throw up while she couldn't breath she was terrified and so were we.  I went screaming down the hall for help.  I seriously thought, I don't want Neil to see her die like this.  This can't be his last memory.  I pray for GOD'S will to be done, I pray that she passes gently in her sleep.  I thank GOD that he decides all and we don't have to make that kind of decision.

Thank you Marie for such a beautiful gift that has meant more than you could have ever known it would.  Like I said GOD knows what we don't know yet and GOD prepares a way for us.  

Marie your Journal was the result of JESUS calling on one of his earthly Angels to prepare comfort for someone in need.  Thank you for hearing that call and being that ANGEL on earth for me!

I hope y'all have a wonderful weekend.  Hugs...Tracy :)