I'm still hoping that you can forgive me for asking for your continued prayers. Neil is suffering so much. Late last night he broke down and told me that he felt the hospital had lied to him and that she was suffering as she passed. I don't feel she was but that doesn't matter. It's what he feels that matters. He said she was scared and frighten and he let her down. He can't stop seeing her face as she took her last breath and he said he doesn't think he did the right thing. He also says he doesn't know how he can live with this. It's breaking my heart. To hear him say his last memory is seeing her face when she took her last breath is overwhelming. He was so close to her. (She was sedated but in his mind she was aware).
He took care of his mom better than anyone I've ever know. In the last 12 years I don't think we missed spending but a few dinners with her until she was in the nursing home last year. Even then he probably only missed visiting her 3 times before last week when he was sick most of it. It tears my heart up to see him suffering and I feel like a 8 year old girl just wanting someone to fix it. I'm begging for your prayers and any prayer chains you know.
I know that we're no different than anyone else experiencing the loss of a loved one but when it's your family going through it, it feels like the only thing in the world. I just don't know what I would do if something happened to Neil.
God Bless you all from the bottom of my heart......Tracy
Oh Dear Sweet one...I am praying all the more for your dear family.
ReplyDeletePraying continuously...TRUTH prevails in Jesus' name!
ReplyDeleteOf course I will pray - Peace for Neil's heart and perseverance for you, sweet sister!!
ReplyDeleteBlessings
i do hope that Neil find some peace in all of this. Love to you both...
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful blessing to have a son like that! The mama in me just prays to have that kind of devotion from my boys, and from their wives, too. God bless you both. As for him feeling the way he does, that kind of guilt is completely expected. Anyone who has been responsible for giving care for as long as he has is going to second-guess himself. Ultimately, all we can do is pray for peace, and know that the God who created your mother-in-law knew how best to bring her home. It sounds to me like he did a wonderful and loving job, and there's really nothing else a mere mortal can do, even if mistakes were made. Big, warm internet hugs coming your way.
ReplyDeleteYou are in my prayers and thoughts, darlin. I just went through the death of my sweeat grandmother.. I miss her daily.
ReplyDeleteHuge to you both, Sherri
Of course I will continue praying for Neil. May he find peace that only God can give.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Cindy
bonjour,
ReplyDeleteJe suis de confession musulmane, la mort est quelque chose de terrible mais tout être vivant sur terre passe par ce passage terrible
Je prierai pour que votre belle mère repose en paix, que Dieu l'accueille en son vaste paradis et que votre mari retrouve sa sérénité
Ma mère est partie il y a 3 ans (que son âme repose en paix), j'ai toujours sa perte sur le coeur.
bonne journée
Oh Tracy, this is so hard for him - and you. He sounds like an amazing son, she was very lucky to have been blessed with such love. Of course I will pray for you. I am off to light a candle now. Big hug, Carol :)
ReplyDeleteTracy, I am so sorry for your loss and for Neil's difficult time. I know how hard this is for you. I stood by Bob in a similar situation with his dear Mom. It is so hard for everyone involved and I now you are hurting.
ReplyDeletePlease tell Neil that as a most loving son, he the did the best for his dear Mom and that she is in the arms of our Loving God. Neil was God's missionary on earth. He was in God's will and he was a faithful son.
My prayers are daily for you and especially for Neil's peace. We all would hope to have a wonderful son such as Neil.
God bless you and Neil,
Ginger
Tracy I am so sorry Neil is suffering so. My prayers have been continually with you and he. So you think grief counseling will help? Would he even consider it? you both have a lot of life left to live and I wish you both peace.
ReplyDeletexoxoxoxox
*hugs*deb