Hi Everyone. Was it a good weekend for ya'll? I hope it was. I've had so many new people leave comments lately and I'm still working my way around Neil to have computer time to answer everyone back. I really am going to have to try to sell something on etsy to get $35.00 to get my computer running again!
Yesterday (Sunday) was a painful day emotionally. I know this is getting old for so many of you. There was an email on my post about my ugly side from last week. I was surprised to get a response on that post now. The point is just when I was hurting yesterday, I took my cell phone and retreated to the closet. It's a nice size closet and made a pallet on the floor and took refuge and a nap there. I took my baby Mattie (the dog) with me. Having her sleep with me is comfort. After crying and sleeping, I woke up to find a comment from someone new. (I like to read my emails and comments on the phone when I can't get to the computer but hate typing on it). It really did bring tears back to my eyes for much better reasons. I don't know who Louise is or how to contact her but I would like to personally thank her. If you are Louise please let me know how to reach you via email. If you prefer to not be reach please accept my most heartfelt thanks. God really does find the most unique ways to comfort us. I think he knew how alone I felt or much, words had hurt.
There are so many emails I read last week that touched me in the most deep and profound way. I'm sure you know who you are. I would read them and cry (what a baby I am). I didn't write back at the time because I wanted to really be able to sit and address each one with the attention and love it was sent with. Between that and the giveaway and roller coaster here everything just got so mixed up and away from me. I hope no one's feelings have been hurt because your words still resonate in my heart. I'm determined to catch up and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I just wish I could hug each one of you and send you a token of my appreciation. Words just aren't enough. I pray each of you feel as blessed as you make me feel.
With bushels of love....Tracy :)
First off, please please (no really please) don't feel you have to respond to this. The women I read have got to be the kindest most gentle souls in all the world and you all amaze me with your desire to respond to each comment. But your exhausted so don't you worry a bit about this one, OK?
ReplyDeleteI had to go back, I had no idea what you were talking about. You do not have an ugly side. I don't know why anyone would respond to you in a negative way. It defies logic, except people seem to want to play "I am greater than you," on the internet.
You are doing an amazing thing, something I actually could never do. My aunt has dementia, she is more like my Grandma since mine died when I was young. She tells my mom and my uncle about how I am with her everyday. She talks to me more than anyone else (all in her head). For whatever reason out of our big massive family I am with her all the time. She hasn't seen me in twenty years....Anyway, I am so unable to deal with this I can't even call her. My mom lets me know gently she would love a call from me. And I can NOT do it. Do I feel like a monster? Absolutely. Can I seem to help it. No.
I wanted to tell you this because, look what you do. Do you understand how much your doing and how so extremely hard this is on you? I think you're incredible (truly and for real).You are without a doubt a hero. Not the silly hero you see in movies but a real life hero. Now, get some rest, that's kind of a mom/manager type of order in case you were wondering. Like no argument type of order. Take care of yourself, there is only one you.
I am Louise. It feels so good to have someone actually look for me! You can find me at louisefredieu@yahoo.com. i look forward to hearing from you, my friend, my sister in Christ.
ReplyDeleteWE all need wonderful people in our lives - unfortunately there are also others who lurk around trying to make trouble!! First step to anything is being honest with ourselves and acknowledging the truth in our lives.... this is all you have done... been honest with yourself and us - don't beat yourself up or let others do it....
ReplyDeletehugz
Hey Tracy,
ReplyDeleteI feel like I have been gone for so long, I am going to have to catch up with you again. Hope you are having a better week, take some time for your self, okay? Take the baby for a nice quiet walk for me.
Always know that I am thinking of, and praying for you. Wish I could give you a HUGE HUG in person,
Kate
Oh I see you found Louise she posted a message below with her addy to you...I'm happy for you.
ReplyDeleteHi Tracy!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you have had a very emotional week.
I hope this news cheers you up today.
YOU WON MY GIVE-AWAY!!!!
Please email me your mailing address and the email address where you would like for "Belle Inspiration" to be delivered.
Know that I am praying for God's grace in your situation. He is good.
Rhonda
Hi Tracy...for some laughs..I too have a closet pallet..I have even moved in a picture or two..just to make it mine!! My husband just looks at it and shakes his head.Hey..I save you money by going in here and crying..screaming..using foul language..yes I can..and then praying!!lol
ReplyDeleteI think you and I are made of the same cloth..I am the total caretaker of my family..the things that are said to me..spilled on me..spit at..cussed at..hit with canes...yet I drag this body back and I do it again.
Crying and screaming inside..yet thinking..if it was me..how do I want to be treated..so I dig in..and try again..try to make them comfortable..and safe. A wise Dr. recently said..when they get like this..it is no longer them..it is a part of their brain..that we can't get to.
I never want to be like this..but I am already thanking my love ones for down the road caretaking..my oldest she will be the one to bathe me..take care of me..I tell her all the time..how much it means to me to know no matter where I am in my head...that she is to know..I love her soooo much..and I hope she forgives me for my future actions!!
It is too bad your MIL doesn't realize what a jewel she has in you. But God knows..your hubbie knows..and deep down you know!! Hang in there..try to laugh or giggle during those times..it helps..lol
Hugs thru Christ..Cindy from Rick-Rack and Gingham
((((Tracy))))
ReplyDeleteYou sure had a roller coaster of a week last week. You have the hardest job in the world. Take it easy on yourself. You need to get your needs met and lots of rest. If you don't take care of you, you can't take care of anyone. is there someone that can give you a break once in a while? So you can have a "me day". You are only human and anyone who can say anything negative to you isn't.
Thank you so much for your sweet comments about my Apples. An Etsy Treasury is a collection of items that are for sale on Etsy. The creator picks a theme, then chooses 16 items to go with that theme. I've never done it, but I understand there is usually some sort of waiting list or period to get an opening.
This is like my 5th or 6th Treasury I've been featured in in the last 3-4 weeks! So surprised..and honored.
Good to hear from you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Be good to yourself!
*hugs*deb