Well at least for the next few hours. Our Lord is teaching me patience in the moments of panic. In this rushed season I'm an learning to take things as they come which can change at a moments notice.
One thing I am blessed to have is my joy back. My joy for Christmas this year with no expectations. I'm happy to have the blessing of peace in my home. The tenderness of love so long missed.
Our days are like a roller coaster now but there is an underlying calm and security knowing God has answered so many prayers for my family and me. I know this is due to the links of a strong prayer chain. You can't imagine how I hurt last year at this time. If you would have asked me only two months ago what my future held I would have told you I had no idea and no real hope. I would have said my family life was hopeless. Thank God our sweet, loving Savior didn't give up on the girl with the poor attitude and low self esteem. The hopeless seeming girl who couldn't bring love to anyone around her.
But I'm drifting off subject again....
My MIL Nadine has been transfer back to the nursing/rehab. Neil was in a good mood after seeing her the night she transferred but the next evening came home in tears. She was in bed, not responding, and moaning. He must have cried the whole way home. I could see it as soon as he walked in the door.
Yesterday we went together to visit her and found her in her room sitting in the wheel chair. We were both so surprised to see her looking well and being in such a good mood. See, this is what I mean about a roller-coaster. Bless her heart, she's kind of hard to understand now and not much makes sense but still it was a big relief to Neil and me too. Neil didn't sleep at all the night before. When we asked her what she'd been doing, she said making beds and cleaning the bathroom, washing clothes, stuff like that. She told us about riding out to Callahan to get something for Neil. She said she told her Mom that Neil would be coming by. Of course her Mother has been gone since Neil was young. I don't mind hearing these things if she's happy and she certainly seemed to be. We took her for a stroll in the wheel chair and they have a sweet little ice cream parlor opened for 2 hours, 3 days a week. We went in and got her some. It was the first thing she has literally put in her mouth in at least a month since she's been on the feeding tubes and pegs. It was wonderful seeing her enjoy it but you could tell she's weak and really doesn't remember how to eat but it all came back. She doesn't even realize that she doesn't eat food anymore. Then we went in the dining room where they had someone come in to play the piano and sing. There were lots of Christmas carols. He even sang Route 66, a Nat King Cole standard, that made me think of Paula from Paula's Altered Palace of Art. And my favorite "Fly Me to the Moon"! Oh' how I love those beautiful old songs and NO I'm not that old.
So to tie that up with a bow we had a very nice day. We came home to record cold weather (low of 22 degrees), That's cold in Florida!!! Luckily I had made a big batch of chili a week or so ago and taken some out of the freezer. YUM!!!
Between the hospital and trying to keep up with a couple of swaps that I had already committed to I haven't been able to get to you wonderful, sweet and loving friends that have comforted me through this. But I've got my swaps done and the trees started so I hope to get online tonight or tomorrow because I want to let each one of you know what you've meant.
So here's to hoping and wishing that in your hearts you already know how much you mean to me, that you're keeping warm and cozy today and that your enjoying the spirit of the season as much as I am. I could just cry in the most wonderful way today!!!
Loads of love, hugs and happy wishes. God bless y'all,
Tracy :)
